Thursday, December 17, 2009
Sunday, December 6, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Some funny photos for fun
Phallic weather
Another phalic joke
Reverse limbo on skates
Cat tainted by 'Joker' from Batman comics
Fultility in sports
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Monday, August 3, 2009
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
Sunday, May 24, 2009
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Sunday, May 3, 2009
Saturday, May 2, 2009
Employee's code of conduct
To all Employees:
Dress Code
1. It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a pay raise.
2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
3. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as proof of sickness.
If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Holiday Days
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
Compassionate Leave
This is no excuse for missing work.
There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements.
In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Use of Toilet Facility
1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the cubicles.
2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle door will open, and your picture will be taken.
3. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company notice board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category.
4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break
1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive employment experience.Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
Dress Code
1. It is advised that you come to work dressed according to your salary. If we see you wearing Prada shoes and carrying a Gucci bag, we assume you are doing well financially and therefore do not need a pay raise.
2. If you dress poorly, you need to learn to manage your money better, so that you may buy nicer clothes, and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
3. If you dress just right, you are right where you need to be and therefore you do not need a pay raise.
Sick Days
We will no longer accept a doctor's certificate as proof of sickness.
If you are able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
Holiday Days
Each employee will receive 104 personal days a year. They are called Saturday & Sunday.
Compassionate Leave
This is no excuse for missing work.
There is nothing you can do for dead friends, relatives or co-workers. Every effort should be made to have non-employees attend to the arrangements.
In rare cases where employee involvement is necessary, the funeral should be scheduled in the late afternoon. We will be glad to allow you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently leave one hour early.
Use of Toilet Facility
1. Entirely too much time is being spent in the toilet. There is now a strict three-minute time limit in the cubicles.
2. At the end of three minutes, an alarm will sound, the toilet paper roll will retract, the cubicle door will open, and your picture will be taken.
3. After your second offence, your picture will be posted on the company notice board under the 'Chronic Offenders' category.
4. Anyone caught smiling in the picture will be sanctioned under the company's mental health policy.
Lunch Break
1. Skinny people get 30 minutes for lunch, as they need to eat more so that they can look healthy.
2. Normal size people get 15 minutes for lunch to get a balanced meal to maintain their average figure.
3. Chubby people get 5 minutes for lunch, because that's all the time needed to drink a Slim-Fast.
Thank you for your loyalty to our company. Remember we are an employer of choice and we are here to provide a positive employment experience.Therefore, all questions, comments, concerns, complaints, frustrations, irritations, aggravations, insinuations, allegations, accusations, contemplations, consternation and input should be directed elsewhere.
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
Monday, March 30, 2009
Saturday, March 28, 2009
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Friday, March 20, 2009
Thursday, March 12, 2009
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Indonesian Student stabs NTU professor
This week in Singapore, an Indonesian student, 21—year—old David Hartanto Widjaja, who stabbed his professor and then jumped to his death, had his scholarship terminated in February.
According to CNA[Channel News Asia]:
It is still unclear what led to the attack and tragic end. But what is known is that David, described as a bright young man, had lost his scholarship and his grades had been slipping lately.
Several students have been affected by the incident.
Associate Professor Lok Tat Seng, Dean of Students, Nanyang Technological University, said: "Many of our students who knew the student were distraught. The Indonesian community is a very tight—knit community within the university and you would expect them to be distraught. We and our counsellors are here to comfort all of them."
NTU said the injured Associate Professor Chan Kap Luk is recovering well and is in good spirits in hospital. He may be discharged as early as Wednesday.
NTU added that immediate trauma counselling is open to all affected students and staff. It is understood that at least a hundred students have seen counsellors. The university had also arranged for David’s friends to meet with his family on Monday night.
A check with Singapore’s other universities showed there are systems in place to identify and counsel students at risk.
Foreign students tell Channel NewsAsia that stress often presents itself in loneliness and pressure over academic affairs.
19—year—old Indonesian student, Andy Giarto, said: "Most of the international students live alone in Singapore. And unlike the Singaporean students who can talk to their relatives, international students find it difficult because they live far away from their family."
37—year—old student, Johan Alsson, from Sweden, added: "Usually in education systems, you have one exam. But here, it’s like seven weeks of pressure all the time. As soon as you’re done with some work, the next one comes along."
At the Singapore Management University (SMU), trained students form peer helper teams acting as the eyes and ears on the ground. SMU said that it is the first university here to formalise such a student support system.
It runs a semester—long Facilitation and Counselling Class where students are equipped with basic counselling skills. At any time, the school said it has about 60 students in its Peer Helper Team. This is on top of the university’s five full—time counsellors.
Timothy Hsi, university counsellor, SMU, said: "There are just so few administrators and counsellors and so many students on the ground. So there’s no way any of us can possibly meet all of them. So the best way is for us to engage students because they are the ones on the ground."
At the National University of Singapore (NUS), professional psychiatrists and doctors are roped in for serious cases.
NUS provost, Prof Tan Eng Chye said there are many layers supporting the 10 counsellors. These include case managers — appointed to the university’s bigger faculties — who are trained to identify students, faculty or staff in distress. Students are also roped in to man helplines.
The university plans to raise its number of counsellors and take this support system into cyberspace. Prof Tan said there are plans to offer counselling support services on the university’s Second Life site, a 3—D virtual world with some 25,000 registered users.
But still, experts point out there is no fool—proof system to detect troubled students.
Professor Tan Eng Chye, Deputy President (Academic Affairs) & Provost, NUS, said: "There is a big proportion of students who need help, but who do not want to be helped. Even though some of our faculty members are pretty well—trained to notice and detect these students at risk and offer help, some of them may actually reject it."
The incident has also generated a lot of interest online. Indonesian newspapers carried reports of the stabbing and the blogsphere is abuzz with chatter. Many netizens expressed shock over the incident, saying that a case like this is unexpected in Singapore.
The incident has also generated a number of responses from Indonesian students who have studied or are studying in Singapore, describing the education system here as being in a high—pressured environment.
Many netizens have also expressed their condolences to David’s family and sympathies for Prof Chan, wishing him a speedy recovery.
According to CNA[Channel News Asia]:
It is still unclear what led to the attack and tragic end. But what is known is that David, described as a bright young man, had lost his scholarship and his grades had been slipping lately.
Several students have been affected by the incident.
Associate Professor Lok Tat Seng, Dean of Students, Nanyang Technological University, said: "Many of our students who knew the student were distraught. The Indonesian community is a very tight—knit community within the university and you would expect them to be distraught. We and our counsellors are here to comfort all of them."
NTU said the injured Associate Professor Chan Kap Luk is recovering well and is in good spirits in hospital. He may be discharged as early as Wednesday.
NTU added that immediate trauma counselling is open to all affected students and staff. It is understood that at least a hundred students have seen counsellors. The university had also arranged for David’s friends to meet with his family on Monday night.
A check with Singapore’s other universities showed there are systems in place to identify and counsel students at risk.
Foreign students tell Channel NewsAsia that stress often presents itself in loneliness and pressure over academic affairs.
19—year—old Indonesian student, Andy Giarto, said: "Most of the international students live alone in Singapore. And unlike the Singaporean students who can talk to their relatives, international students find it difficult because they live far away from their family."
37—year—old student, Johan Alsson, from Sweden, added: "Usually in education systems, you have one exam. But here, it’s like seven weeks of pressure all the time. As soon as you’re done with some work, the next one comes along."
At the Singapore Management University (SMU), trained students form peer helper teams acting as the eyes and ears on the ground. SMU said that it is the first university here to formalise such a student support system.
It runs a semester—long Facilitation and Counselling Class where students are equipped with basic counselling skills. At any time, the school said it has about 60 students in its Peer Helper Team. This is on top of the university’s five full—time counsellors.
Timothy Hsi, university counsellor, SMU, said: "There are just so few administrators and counsellors and so many students on the ground. So there’s no way any of us can possibly meet all of them. So the best way is for us to engage students because they are the ones on the ground."
At the National University of Singapore (NUS), professional psychiatrists and doctors are roped in for serious cases.
NUS provost, Prof Tan Eng Chye said there are many layers supporting the 10 counsellors. These include case managers — appointed to the university’s bigger faculties — who are trained to identify students, faculty or staff in distress. Students are also roped in to man helplines.
The university plans to raise its number of counsellors and take this support system into cyberspace. Prof Tan said there are plans to offer counselling support services on the university’s Second Life site, a 3—D virtual world with some 25,000 registered users.
But still, experts point out there is no fool—proof system to detect troubled students.
Professor Tan Eng Chye, Deputy President (Academic Affairs) & Provost, NUS, said: "There is a big proportion of students who need help, but who do not want to be helped. Even though some of our faculty members are pretty well—trained to notice and detect these students at risk and offer help, some of them may actually reject it."
The incident has also generated a lot of interest online. Indonesian newspapers carried reports of the stabbing and the blogsphere is abuzz with chatter. Many netizens expressed shock over the incident, saying that a case like this is unexpected in Singapore.
The incident has also generated a number of responses from Indonesian students who have studied or are studying in Singapore, describing the education system here as being in a high—pressured environment.
Many netizens have also expressed their condolences to David’s family and sympathies for Prof Chan, wishing him a speedy recovery.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Finance mumbo jumbo
CEO = Chief Embezzlement Officer.
CFO = Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET = A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET = A 6 to 18 month period when you think of going back to school.
VALUE INVESTING = The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO = The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing. BROKER = What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR = Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST = Idiot who just down-graded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT = When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER = A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION = The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW = The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO = What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS = What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR = Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT = An old word no longer in use.
CFO = Corporate Fraud Officer.
BULL MARKET = A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
BEAR MARKET = A 6 to 18 month period when you think of going back to school.
VALUE INVESTING = The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E RATIO = The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing. BROKER = What my broker has made me.
STANDARD & POOR = Your life in a nutshell.
STOCK ANALYST = Idiot who just down-graded your stock.
STOCK SPLIT = When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
FINANCIAL PLANNER = A guy whose phone has been disconnected.
MARKET CORRECTION = The day after you buy stocks.
CASH FLOW = The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
YAHOO = What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
WINDOWS = What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo @ $240 per share.
INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR = Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
PROFIT = An old word no longer in use.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Something funny
Something funny is as fanny as a nanny wearing a tranny dress wearily serenating a granny
Saturday, January 24, 2009
Funny Commercials
Americans demeaning the game of Badminton.
FYI, Brian Urlacher is an American football linebacker and David Ortiz is an baseball player.
FYI, Brian Urlacher is an American football linebacker and David Ortiz is an baseball player.
Saturday, January 17, 2009
Monday, January 12, 2009
Israel-Palestinian conflict
I am getting sick of all this fighting. For about how long now? since 1948.....that's like 60 plus years. Arabs vs Jews.
All for a piece of land between Africa and Asia. 3 religions claimed as its holy place.
Hamas, one of the combatant is even recruiting kids.
Surprisingly, the creator of this clip claims to be a Palestinian.
But in a land run by Hamas, violence is their ideology.
All for a piece of land between Africa and Asia. 3 religions claimed as its holy place.
Hamas, one of the combatant is even recruiting kids.
Surprisingly, the creator of this clip claims to be a Palestinian.
But in a land run by Hamas, violence is their ideology.
Friday, January 2, 2009
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